Quartzsite Episode One

It was my favorite bartender who first asked me, “Are you going to go to Quartzsite?”  I had no idea what he was talking about.   

The town of Quartzsite Arizona has a population of twenty four hundred and thirteen full time residents. But starting about now until the end of March a million people will have spent at least one night calling Quartzsite home.  A significant number spend the whole season.  

I’ll tell you right up front I am going to spend another two or three nights in the town on the return trip so take all the complaining that follows with a grain of salt.  All in all, so far anyway, my Quartzsite experience was not a good one.  I had a not great interaction with a bartender (a profession I generally hold in high esteem).  I put a coaster on top of my beer bottle while I stepped outside to attend to an urgent Pokémon issue.  I thought this was universal bartender language. Evidently not. 

The memorial for Hi Jolly, one of
Quartzsites founders.

The second problem, just a few minutes later, I stepped into The Outback Pizza bar and landed at a table close to the front. I had just been the driveway guest of some Diamond Back fans.  The game was on and I was watching for their sake.  Bases were loaded, it was looking good.  I looked at my phone for a moment and it was all over.  As a Vikings fan I can commiserate.   Anyway, service sucked at The Outback.  I ended up not eating there, to discover at 7pm my only remaining choice for food was McDonalds.  Luckily I had some indian leftovers.

People don’t go there for the service anyway.  They go for the experience.  The most common reason people go to Quartzsite year after year is because they went once.  They were hooked.  I guess I am just not hooked yet.

Inside Gem World

One of the other reasons people go is for rocks.  There are dozens of rock shops, actually rock warehouses in one case.  Plus several outdoor vendors on the edges.  In the center of town there is something akin to a farmers market for rocks.  I will hit that on the return trip.  I guess thousands of rock vendors descend on Quartzsite the last week in January.

I have a summertime project that could really use some attractive rock so I was very interested in seeing what the shops had.  My first stop was Gem World, right as I came into town.  It was frankly, overwhelming.  Thousands of square feet of shelves filled with rocks.  Pricing, when it is marked at all, is by the pound.  How’s your pound guestimator?  I known mine is totally useless.  

It wasn’t until the next day when I returned I picked out several.  Gem World seemed unwilling to haggle at all but other places were more open to it.  —And tended to be cheaper to begin with.  I think I bought at four more of the indoor shops and they seemed very willing to discount.  …And trust me, I am an amateur grade haggler at best.  The rocks all of these shops were in some cases amazing.  The largest geodes I have ever seen in my life.

As my final stop I pulled into one of the outdoor rock markets just off main street where I dealt with Kreacher of the rock world.  Not unlike a house elf he was a very small man. Made even smaller by his posture, hunched over, his head almost touching his stomach.  He constantly muttered.  I didn’t think it was English at first, or even directed at me.  Then I realized he was telling me the general prices (nothing was marked) and complaining about how few people stop.  Once I had picked some rocks out and agreed on a price with him he was muttering about how angry “the boss” was going to be.  In one of his mutterings he claimed the boss had paid eighty dollars just for one of the rocks I was buying.  I wasn’t paying anything near that for the four rocks I had picked out.  In all of this grumbling I could only hear Kreacher mumbling how angry his mistress would be. 

I did technically park on the BLM land but it was only about a mile out of town and even less distance from Interstate 40.  Even inside the van I heard the constant roar of the freeway.  It was my fault.  When I arrived I got distracted by rock shops, beer, and hopes of pizza.  It was dark when I started looking for a place to park.  There was no stealthing in town.  Everywhere was marked no parking.  My van can totally fool the typical townie.  But in Quartzsite these people were experts at spotting vehicles people sleep in.  Being lazy, I checked at one of the close to sixty RV parks in town but they wanted $54 a night.  No way.  

Once you are off the road, in the dessert of BLM land there are only paths.  Totally fine during the daytime.  At night I had no idea where I was going.   So I went a short distance and gave up.  Still, it was interesting and I do want to try it again.  It will be interesting how many more will have arrived by the time I return in a couple of weeks.   I left Quartzsite mid afternoon bound for Pasadena and hoping to miss heavy traffic.